How many times have you and I wished for a long-time off work? We hope for a few months, maybe a year, to step out of our fast-paced world and recharge our batteries. However, losing a job is never perceived as the sabbatical one has always desired. Although unemployment rates have declined in the past few months, according to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) and that many employees have been able to return to work, others still suffer.
The reality is it may happen to any of us at some point in our careers, regardless of our level of competence. And bouncing back after being laid off does not happen by chance. It takes an intentional approach. So, how exactly do you deal with losing a job?
First things first, difference between getting fired and being laid off.
We often confuse the two terms. I used them interchangeably until I started working on this piece. The truth is, getting fired and being laid off are two distinct ways of losing your job.
Getting fired refers to being terminated for reasons such as unsatisfactory performance, unmet expectations, misconduct, incompliance to company standards or a breach of employment contract. It is mainly due to an employee’s performance and/or behavior.
Being laid off, in contrast, is not related to performance. It often occurs following a corporate restructuring, downsizing or even when the company goes out of business.
The first step following losing your job is to understand the nature of termination. Even though the result is the same, using the appropriate terminology impacts your plans, your internal dialogue as well as the one you have with a potential future employer.
In this article, I choose to focus on how to deal with being laid off.
How to bounce back after being laid off.
Take time to process your emotions
When turbulence begins in an organization, some of us may project multiple scenarios, including our own termination. So, we start exploring jobs, continued education plans, perhaps business ideas. We feel prepared for all possibilities, rationally. However, when reality strikes, what we don’t account for is the emotional factor.
For the first time in my career, I had the chance to connect with a colleague who was laid off, immediately after the announcement. I could sense the anger, resentment, disappointment, and sadness. And she had every right to feel that way because of how competent, ambitious, and hardworking she was. The more I tried to rationalize the situation for Tara, the more resistance I faced. This is when I realized that, at that point in time, she was not ready to make sense of what happened. Tara just needed to let emotions explode out of that tiny body of hers.
So, the first thing to do after being laid off is to give yourself time to grieve the loss of your job. In fact, you didn’t just lose a source of income; you also lost an investment in time and effort, a sense of stability and security, your identity, or a simple routine. Facing your emotions is key to overcoming these difficult times. Acknowledge even the most negative feelings, express them to a friend or a mentor and write them down on a piece of paper. Releasing your emotions will then give you the space to make the changes you desire.
While it’s perfectly healthy to grieve, it would be counterproductive to dwell. The latter can make it much more difficult for you to get back to work.
Remind yourself that it’s not personal
Why me?
That is probably the first question that will come to your mind when you receive the news, along with many others which remain unanswered. It’s like someone breaking up with you and saying, “It’s not you, it’s me”. It will leave you wondering where you went wrong. Was there a decision you made in the past that led you here? What could you have done differently?
You might feel rejected and start questioning your worth as your self-confidence drops.
When that happens, just PAUSE, and remind yourself it is NOT personal. No one swiped left or right to determine who stays and who goes. A new organizational structure was built and filled with the appropriate roles, skillset, and behaviors. There is no doubt that the most versatile employees have higher chances of sticking around. However, such decisions should in no way make you feel like a failure!
Take a break to recover from the “heartbreak”
Losing your job can weigh heavily on you. And you will need the positive vibes to get through. So, take a vacation, even a short one. Do something enjoyable and keep yourself surrounded with positive people who keep reminding you of your achievements and strengths. Most importantly, remind yourself of your qualities and the value you brought to your company in your previous roles.
Caring for your wellbeing is crucial as discussed in our previous blog post.
Grab the opportunity to learn
You didn’t lose, you were given an opportunity to learn what you could do better in the future.
One suggestion is to write down those statements you said in a moment of anger and disappointment, transform them into questions and answer them objectively. Here are a few examples.
| Angry Statement | Learning Question |
|---|---|
| I don’t understand. I am as competent as other employees who were retained! | Was I successful in showcasing my skills and potential to my employer? |
| This person stayed in the organization because he has good connections with the management team. It’s ridiculous! | How can I enhance my networking skills in my future role to make sure the management knows my potential? |
| I’m so furious. They moved my colleague to other departments to save her job. Why didn’t they save me? | What value does this colleague bring to the firm and how has their journey contributed positively? |
If you don’t think you can be objective or cannot find the answers, ask an ex-colleague or a mentor to help you out.
Strategize for your career and reevaluate your choices.
We don’t often get the chance to slow down and rethink our lives. A layoff gives you exactly that. A fresh start. An opportunity to reconnect with your passions. Unfortunately, most people who get laid off fail to grab that chance to reinvent their careers. Don’t be like most people!
Ask yourself, if I wasn’t doing this job, what did I always want to do? The answer doesn’t have to be different than your previous choices. However, take the time to explore further. Understand whether you had been in that job because it was convenient or circumstantial or whether you were truly going on a career path that reflected your desires. Know your strengths and where you would be at your best.
Some people quit what would qualify as a perfect job to pursue their dreams. Others need a push. What if this was your push?
Plan your next move
Now that you’ve processed your emotions, took the chance to learn and strategize, it is time to look for opportunities that fulfill your wants and needs; research potential jobs, build a network, maintain the one you have and create a narrative to discuss the gap with recruiters. Remember, there are a lot of job seekers just like you. So don’t apply to one opportunity at a time. Instead, make sure to submit several applications. This will give you bargaining power and reduce the impact of a potential rejection.
In the meantime, make sure to manage your finances by identifying how long you can survive on your severance pay and cutting the unnecessary spending. Also, while waiting for the next thing, advance your skills; upgrade and update them!
Even when we are prepared for it, losing a job is never easy. The secret is to be intentional about your life after it, to be kind to yourself and lean on your surroundings. You will make it through… I believe in you!